When the Camellia Blooms

Hai. Been a year, and I'm not proud for this achievement. Over a year since my last post, it absolutely proved laziness and how bad I am in procrastination.

In 2019 there's only a few serial TV I watched and named two of it, are last season of Game of Thrones and When the Camellia Blooms (this is K-drama). The reason why I looked forward for this K-drama and I even beyond excited for it is because the lead actress was Gong Hyo Jin. I'm so proud watched it till the end, and without any skip on any episode. Why so? Because, should I stated again, there was Gong Hyo Jin! She's my favorite K-actress. For you who with me through this blog maybe already know that I like her much, very much, almost like an obsession. That's why I suggest you to watch the drama too. Not only because there's her, but also because of the good story inside.

Here's some information that maybe you'll need before you watch it to make you more sure that you won't regret. I take it from my-own standard-verified-source, AsianWiki

Title : When the Camellia Blooms [Dongbaekkkot Pil Mooryeob / 동백꽃 필 무렵]

Director : Cha Young-Hoon, Kang Min-Kyung

Writer : Im Sang-Choon (known for wrote Fight for My Way too)

Network : KBS2 (and Netflix)

Episodes : 40

Release Date: September 18 - November 21, 2019

  

 

credit pictures: instagram; pinterest

It tells about a single mother Dongbaek (Gong Hyo Jin) who runs a bar-restaurant (it named Camellia) in small village, Ongsan. There she deals with gossip, romance, jealousy, neighborhood, family matter, and even a serial murder case that happened to be related to her. The genre is like a compilation, so personally I think you’ll enjoy it with the romance, comedy, mystery, family issue, friendship, and self-improvement message they served. You’ll get a combo by watch it.

On episode 37-38 there’s a conversation between Dongbaek and Mrs. No that hit me up. I write it in Bahasa cause I used Bahasa as subtitle.

Mrs.Nooo: Aku hanya memesan baby tumis.
Dongbaek: Semua berpikir pelanggan adalah raja, tapi sebenarnya ini kerajaanku. Aku hidangkan yang kumau.

Mrs.Nooo: Kenapa kau tertawa seperti itu? Senyummu ...., agak mengintimidasi.

Dongbaek: Apa aku mengintimidasimu?

Mrs.Nooo: Sebagian orang mengira kau takkan bisa bahagia. Mereka mendapat kenyamanan dengan mengatakan mereka iba kepadamu. Tapi kau cukup pandai tersenyum. Senyummu juga manis. Tidak heran ini menyebalkan, tentu aku terintimidasi.... Ngomong-ngomong kau harus terus tersenyum. Tunjukkan pada semua orang seberapa besar kebahagianmu.

Dongbaek: Begini, aku menyerah bahagia terang-terangan sejak dulu.

Mrs.Nooo: Kenapa begitu?

Dongbaek: Anggapan orang tentangku adalah urusan mereka. Dahulu, aku merasa kebahagiaan seperti nilai ujian. Aku biasa melihat nilai orang lain di papan dan memikirkan posisiku. Tapi, tak peduli betapa keras aku mencari, aku tak menemukan jawaban. Jadi, kenapa aku harus tetap mencarinya? Aku menganggap papan nilainya permainan mereka dan menilai hidupku sendiri berdasarkan standarku. Hanya bahagia dengan standarku sendiri yang kubutuhkan dalam hidup, 'kan?

Mrs.Nooo: Tampaknya hatimu memiliki kebun bunga sendiri. Sementara nilai ujianku bagus, masuk sekolah hukum ternama ..., tapi tak ada bunga mekar di diriku.

I'm awaken by that conversation, our life and the way we live is on our hand. The thing that should we hold is religion and moral values we had. I believe both of it teaches us about being good person. Happiness comes from ourself and isn't defined by others. Are we going to be happy when we take the way they took? Is there any guarantee? 

This is why I'm happy and more happier with this drama. Because I can see her effortless style (I don't know whether she worked with her previous stylist or what) and she wore some crocheted-things! Yes, CROCHET! There's bag and hat she wore. I feel so proud cause I do crochet, and the person I like wore it. Okay, I'm little bit too much talking about her wore crocheted-things.

 

credit photos: august_frvn, pinterest


FYI, When the Camellia Blooms lead her got Daesang (Grand Prize) in 2019 KBS Drama Awards. I'm so happy for her achievement! Congratulation our Kongvely!
Can't wait too see her next projects :) 

in-depth reflections

Hallo..!!

Mumpung masih dalam suasana Syawal, saya ucapkan "Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri, Mohon maaf lahir batin untuk kata-kata dan tindakan yang menyinggung dan bahkan sampai menyakiti hati. Mohon saling memaafkan, ya?" 

Satu hal yang saya pelajari dari Ramadhan kali ini adalah, supaya kita menjadi manusia yang lebih baik, tepatnya supaya menjadi pribadi yang lebih bertakwa. Hal yang sudah pasti kita dengar setiap tahunnya. Namun, ini benar-benar mengena bagi saya di tahun ini. Beberapa hal mengingatkan saya untuk lebih mendekatkan diri pada Sang Khalik, meskipun belum sempurna. See, manusia memang tempatnya khilaf. Makanya, setelah dipikir-pikir dan dirasa-rasa, dosa terbesar saya justru pada Sang Illahi, karena Dia yang paling banyak saya kecewakan. Karena itu dalam doa saya selalu, "Allahummaghfir lii wa liwalidayya warhamhumaa kamaa rabbayaanii shoghiiroo," mohon ampun untuk saya dan orang tua. 

Bersyukur dan melihat segala hal dari sisi positif bukan perkara mudah, tapi juga bukan perkara sulit. Bagi saya, ini perkara kemauan dan usaha. Tidak perlu banyak dan sempurna. Cukup dengan memberi diri kita sendiri kesempatan untuk bahagia, apapun kondisi yang dihadapi. Lalu, perlukah berpura-pura bahagia? Jawaban saya, seringkali ini perlu dilakukan. Bukan untuk membohongi orang lain, tetapi justru agar menjadi manusia yang benar-benar berbahagia dan bersyukur. Perasaan kecewa, marah, and many other negative feels selalu dan akan selalu ada, saya cuma manusia biasa yang banyak khilaf. I give myself time untuk merasakan perasaan-perasaan itu, dan memberi waktu secukupnya agar tidak terjebak dalam those black hole-of-negative vibes. Perlu diingat, bahwa kita gak pernah bisa mengendalikan bagaimana hal-hal terjadi di hidup kita. TAPI! Kita selalu bisa memilih bagaimana kita bereaksi untuk hal-hal tersebut. Ternyata, buat saya, kebahagiaan itu bisa diraih kalo saya membiasakan diri untuk berbahagia. 

Masih menurut pemikiran saya yang dangkal dan perasaan saya yang suka sering labil, persoalan syukur dan bahagia ini pada akhirnya mendekatkan kita dengan Sang Illahi dan orang-orang baik disekitar kita. Untuk-Nya, gak ada alasan lain, hanya karena Dia-lah Sang Maha. Sementara, untuk manusia-manusia baik disekitar kita, kembali pada sifat manusia yang selalu mencari kenyamanan dari orang lain dengan "frekuensi" yang sama. Dan ternyata, zona bahagia dapat kita ciptakan dan diisi oleh mereka yang dapat saling memberi positive vibes..

what makes you (feel) beautiful

Since beauty bloggers, make-up artists (MUA) and the the talk of lipstick colors could we hear from a far, it became an omen that "make-up and beauty" are on demand. It's not only about demand, it's about being fancied, loved, the topic that should be talked. I honestly don't know anything about make-up thing. Skin care? Well, a bit, such as facial wash since I knew how pimple and acne could be very irritating. Make-up? Totally blinded. But, as far as I see, woman  around me put make-up, except the one who had major influence on my, my mom. She doesn't put any make-up since she has allergies. As I grow up, I fascinated by it. Circa 2012 I started to get to know foundation, face powder, blush-on, and eyeliner. That's it. I didn't really know how to put it right on my face, the function, the kinds of, the type.

Today, women are more and more awakened by the need of make-up, not only how to put it on face. They find out about choosing the right one (as important as finding life partner, spouse, best friends, you named it), the formula contained, the skin tone, and so on..

A couple years ago, there's no Sephora in Indonesia. The closest one is in Singapore or Malaysia. Now, it has their outlets in Jakarta, Bandung, and Surabaya. WOW! And as the talk about lipstick getting louder, it's easier to find brands from local products to the worldwide ones. Kyle Lip Kit from Kyle Cosmetics could be an example of how can women became crazy over the colors of their own lips.

And this euphoria has an impact on me. I have a thought that "woman should take a beauty class," it's not to become make-up artist, or to put make-up on face every single time. It's about having skill to make-up their self when they couldn't make an appointment with their personal MUA and in the other side they should present their self in "appropriate" way. It doesn't have to be thick make-up and using the hard techniques. As we know that nowadays the natural make-up become a trend. Maybe 50 years ago, in Ibu Kita Kartini era, making hair bun is a skill that must have. But for now, skill to making eyebrows looks presentable is must.

Lucky me! I have friend that profession as MUA and she owns her beauty shop #womanpreneur. It really fad, I asked does she teach beauty class, since I have thought about make myself have this skill. And turned out, she does. She does it professionally, so we agreed on the cost I must paid first. Basically, for me, it's not pricey remembering her words that she wanted her students could do their own make-up. "You must can do it yourself, cause you already learn from me." Many of you may can learn from tutorials on Youtube, and bet many of you success do yours. In my case, it's doesn't work as I want. It's really different between watching on screen and learn directly, I had to many questions to ask.

Thanks to my friend, now I know how to differentiate brushes, making my own brow, and playing some colors by her guide. If I can make suggestion, I think every woman should at least have the basic capabilities to do self make-up.

by her guide

by myself, but she bit guided me too ;p

Now What? / Then What?

People say, “one step closer,”

I would asked, “to what?”

I proudly announced that I officially graduated. YEAY! But then, I sadly tell you that it’s kind of mirage or (fatamorgana for oasis in the dessert). The next day after the ceremony, people tend to ask, what am I doing then? What kind of job I expected? Where will I live? Do I apply in this company? What about that company? And the greatest explosion comes from the question “are you planning to get married?”

Peeps, believe me. I know you wish the best for me, and what I want is the same as you are. I want to get a job as soon as possible, any kind as long as it halal and I can meet their requirements. For notes, if it is possible, seven to eight digit in my paycheck. I want to live somewhere I could called it home, somewhere I can be myself. Yes, of course I’m trying to sell myself from one to another company. And BAM! You all asked about my private life. I’m pretty sure, no one in this world would be happy live their life alone. Being together with someone we deeply connected both physically and mentally (or we always name it jodoh, the other half, soul mate, etc) is happiness and even some people called it home. That is exactly what I want to. One thing you forget is the fact that what we want is not always what Allah as The One and Only who makes this life possible, planned.

After all, what we search and try to reach in this world, in this dunya? I have better question, “are we already grateful with what we got?, and are we ever (for once) happy live our life?”

Anyway, it’s actually about good news that I already finished my study. Thank you for the support, for the dua, and for anything that make it happened. I’m sorry for still trying to be a good person, the successful one, or whatever you named it.

Expectation

People said, get out of your comfort zone and let the next stop challenges you.

Is it the right thing to do? 

We live our life without manuals.

We have parents, siblings, someone we called brother or sister, best friends, friends, stranger that good enough to share stories, someone we named teachers or lectures that guide us in some way so that at least we don't make mistake as they did before. They tried to make our life become what people nowdays labeled as "success". It's a packaged of good job, good salary, nice home, beautiful and kind spouse (for the serious issues, no more boy/girl-friend-ing), beautiful and nice kids, more than one health insurance, and so on.. The truth is, society nowadays become so much demanding. The moment you got a degree from university, people ask where are you work? When you finally got a desk in an office, they started to ask when will you married? When you are lucky enough to married someone, people asked about childs you have. It doesn't finish till finally they can't ask anything anymore (and maybe it's still gonna be a mystery when they'll stop asking). At one moment, you would hesitate either they care about you or just like to meddle. Yet, sometimes (even with the best "guidance") we still have anxiety. 

Here's the thing..

Life manuals for one to another is different, and life manuals (maybe) isn't exist.

There's no right answer for every decision in life cause, isn't life about learning? 

We might live in same roof, ate same food, went to same schools, and others.. But the consequences of the same decision we took will different whether it good or bad. One might take it as a good experience, some other make it as scapegoat. So, move from comfort zone and take another challange, is it bring you a success? Or happiness? Or both? Go ask yourself, what is your priority? Are you considering people you love when you make that priority? At what point you'll stop challenge you're self? Can we just live a life we want? It's hard when you live in community. The anxiety appears because we know what society expect us to be and what the reality we should face to meet the expectation. Being in your comfort zone or other zone is your choice, and people will always tell you what are right and wrong, predict all things to happen, tell your responsibility (even when you getting older and already know without them had to highlight every sentence). Any thought?